Saya adalah Peniup Balon

Salah satu judul novel yang ditulis oleh John Green berjudul Paper Town, atau Kota Kertas. Dikisahkan dalam novel in tentang seorang anak remaja bernama Quentin yang sepanjang novel berusaha untuk mencari Margo yang hilang setelah kali pertama dan terakhir mereka menghabiskan waktu bersama sejak sebeumnya tidak pernah berbicara selama sekian tahun.

Ide utama dalam novel ini adalah sesuatu yang sangat saya amini. Tentang jatuh cinta bukan pada orang yang sebenarnya, melainkan pada khayalan kita tentang sosoknya. Saya mengamininya dalam beberapa artian. Pertama, saya tahu benar bahwa saya adalah sosok Quentin: seseorang yang selalu mengagumi dari kejauhan, tanpa pernah benar-benar berinteraksi dengan orang yang saya kagumi. Menganggap semua informasi yang saya dapatkan melalui interaksi terbatas yang cukup singkat sudah cukup sebagai sumber informasi untuk menggambarkkan orang tersebut.

Dan yang kedua, saya tahu benar bahwa yang saya lakukan kesalahan lain yang saya lakukan berulang-ulang dalam hidup saya. Bahwa John Green benar. Di akhir novelnya (spoiler), Margo menjelaskan dirinya dan membuat Quentin/Q sadar, Q selama ini mengagumi sosok Margo yang ia ciptakan, tapi ia tidak mengenal Margo yang sebenarnya.

Cukup banyak saya bertemu dengan orang-orang yang memukau, yang bersinar, yang membuat saya silau dan dibutakan oleh ide-ide yang saya bangun atas kekaguman saya. Cukup banyak juga puisi dan prosa yang saya buat, berisi deskripsi orang-orang ini, diiringi harapaan untuk mengenal mereka lebih jauh lagi.

Tapi pada akhirnya, saya selalu menemukan bahwa saya berusaha mencengkram memori yang semakin lama semakin memudar. Karena pertemuan singkat, kesempatan yang terbatas, dan ketidakberanian untuk menginvasi personal space orang lain. Saya menemukan diri saya berusaha mempertahankan kenangan-kenangan yang semakin lama semakin membesar namun memudar, seperti balon yang berekspansi tapi sebenarnya bendanya ya itu-itu saja. Kenangan berbahan dasar interpretasi, bukan interaksi. Kenangan-kenangan saya memfiksi.

Tak heran jika saya pada akhirnya selalu mudah merelakan.


Fiction Writers and what Makes them Amazing

I am a grad students with many assignments — not that many but I like to see it from the bright side — that force me to read articles and books before write anything. I have to put citations an referring to certain writing to strengthen my idea, to prove my view on the worlds. But for fiction writer, this cycle is different.

They write about the(ir) world and everything inside. It would be filled with a lot of phenomenons. Some of them come from observation to the world, some of them from self research (without the need to make citation), or even tacitly gained knowledge. They tailored them to suit their imaginations.

Some good writer capture those phenomenon strikingly similar to our perception of the world in front of us or in our head. From romantic, politic to science fiction. The more relate-able story to us, the more chance that we like those stories. Writers able to capture their realities and projecting it to a writing piece. Basically, that’s what interpreter in social research do, but less literary and more strict with methods. And maybe, that’s also, how we see how ‘good’ a fiction writer is.

To be frank, we’re still trying to figure out our reality even until now. We rarely read journals of all the stuffs happening in the world to make sure our realities is the same with others. But to have it composed in a single book (or many volumes that we cannot stop reading), is like being assured that someone else is seeing the same world. That we are not alone. Though we rarely realize that.

And when things is not going right in a fiction, two things:everyone have their own realities to see what is ‘going right or not’, and, it’s a fiction.

And in that way, fiction writer are just amazing.

Why the Kelapa Muda but not the Time Travel?

After a while absorbed in the world of time-space travel with both scientific explanation and fiction, I come to realize about one important thing as an Indonesian. Why don’t we have any story about time travel?

Some other parts of the world might have coconut trees growing at their backyards, but none of them invented Kelapa Muda drink but Indonesian. That a positive side I think. Oh, and the avocado juice, only Indonesian (other part of the world, the Japanese for example, they eat it with shoyu, yuck, sorry Arashi). We’re being so creative on things like that, especially food. But time travel is another thing. The most powerful creature in Indonesian myth could travel the dimension, but never I heard/read about any creature/human being who could bend time like the western character/story did.

It was from a friend of mine, Ita, that I know about the westerns doesn’t have extraordinary legend  like us the eastern. Lord of the Rings book is a presentation of J.R.R Tolkien’s envy on Mahabarata story. A story that is so full packed and perfect that he tried to match with. It is one of the best selling book, and its movie franchise also in the box office list. But still, it is not Mahabarata match when it comes to the story.

In most Indonesians legends and tales, it is normal for someone with supernatural power could travel to other dimension. Like Putri Junjung Buih who can travel from spirit world from bubbles of fresh water. But this kind of power wasn’t really exist in western culture until I saw Insidious, which is become one of a very success horror movie (we have tons movies like that in Indonesia, so bored about it to the level that the producer decide to put sexy women in it as if it’s a comedy movies).

And now here we are, watching about time-space travel from western pop-culture. Awed with its complexity and wonder, regardless it has heavy science stuff or just a simple wonderful story. Why didn’t we nailed it? The fact that our fiction still evolved in romance story without any excellent remark on exploring the beauty of universe baffled me. So far, the best kind of story involved the wonder of the universe is achieved by Supernova series by Dee (fortunately), but I really think there should be more, with our history that has epic stories, why won’t we create things explorative about our universe (maybe I expect this from Nusantaranger, would it be possible, eh?)

I think I should take my pen and do something to change this.

X-Men and My Comment

Actually, I should post about BPRI, but it needs more proofreading so I postponed it and I post this instead.

This is my comment about X-men: days of Future Past. I cannot hold myself to think about the time travel they done.

It’s not a real physical time travel but mind time travel. Logan go back in time and do something to change the future. n the story there are some things that makes me raise questions.

Riddle me this: why the time went simultaneously? In time travel, there’s always the possibility to go back to the future just one second after the subject was away. But then, let’s see the case again. It’s not physiscal time travel, but it’s communicating with the past. That’s why the time went simultaneously. But then, Why the future doesn’t change altogether after each decision was taken differently than before. According to imdb, the Bryan Singer take the string theory as his guidance:

Until an object is observed, it hasn’t really happened yet. The time-traveller whose consciousness travels through time I call The Observer, and until the Observer returns to where he travelled from, the result hasn’t occurred yet. So he can muck about in the past and it isn’t until he snaps back that the new future is set. As a result, we have parallel action, and there’s underlying tension because there’s always that threat Wolverine’s consciousness could return to the future and leave the world in an even darker place.”

This calms me down. I have to run my thoughts over this like this tho (via written text). Now I can sleep tightly. Uber sleepy (and I’m actually holding my headache just to post this).

McGonagall Letter to Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes

Mr. & Mr. Weasley
Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes
93 Diagon Alley

(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International confed. of Wizards)


Dear Mr. Fred and George Weasley,

We are greatly pleased by your success at your new joke shop. Allow me to be informal by saying that based on my personal experience with you two, this letter will be shared with each other for a laugh, I’m sure, which is why I’m only sending one to you both. That aside, since you are no longer under my care, I can only go so far as to tell you that it is highly discouraged for any Hogwarts student to purchase any of your items and for you to sell any in turn. However, I know that wouldn’t deter the two of you so I suggest an impasse.

Would you, under the circumstances, encourage Hogwarts students to also purchase one of your Defense Against the Dark Arts items? Especially to the first years. I hear high praises about them from certain Ministry of Magic officials. I’m afraid that with all the publicity the Daily Prophet is giving this situation, parents are more afraid than useful and their anxiety with the whole ordeal has led them to teach their children rather useless spells that would do more harm than good. It would be a great relief for many of us professors to know that our students, at the very least, are safe. You would have done rather well in your N.E.W.T.s.

Please do sell your Defense Against the Dark Arts items to Slytherin students as well.They are, as much as you don’t like them, still Hogwarts students.

Yours Sincerely,



Minerva McGonagall
Deputy Headmistress

(taken from