Guide to This Blog

I know everyone come to this blog with variety of interest. So, I’d really like you to know that you don’t have to read the unimportant posts except you want to. You could find the categories and tags if you click one of the three hexagon button, the brown one.

I hope it saves your time


Saya adalah Peniup Balon

Salah satu judul novel yang ditulis oleh John Green berjudul Paper Town, atau Kota Kertas. Dikisahkan dalam novel in tentang seorang anak remaja bernama Quentin yang sepanjang novel berusaha untuk mencari Margo yang hilang setelah kali pertama dan terakhir mereka menghabiskan waktu bersama sejak sebeumnya tidak pernah berbicara selama sekian tahun.

Ide utama dalam novel ini adalah sesuatu yang sangat saya amini. Tentang jatuh cinta bukan pada orang yang sebenarnya, melainkan pada khayalan kita tentang sosoknya. Saya mengamininya dalam beberapa artian. Pertama, saya tahu benar bahwa saya adalah sosok Quentin: seseorang yang selalu mengagumi dari kejauhan, tanpa pernah benar-benar berinteraksi dengan orang yang saya kagumi. Menganggap semua informasi yang saya dapatkan melalui interaksi terbatas yang cukup singkat sudah cukup sebagai sumber informasi untuk menggambarkkan orang tersebut.

Dan yang kedua, saya tahu benar bahwa yang saya lakukan kesalahan lain yang saya lakukan berulang-ulang dalam hidup saya. Bahwa John Green benar. Di akhir novelnya (spoiler), Margo menjelaskan dirinya dan membuat Quentin/Q sadar, Q selama ini mengagumi sosok Margo yang ia ciptakan, tapi ia tidak mengenal Margo yang sebenarnya.

Cukup banyak saya bertemu dengan orang-orang yang memukau, yang bersinar, yang membuat saya silau dan dibutakan oleh ide-ide yang saya bangun atas kekaguman saya. Cukup banyak juga puisi dan prosa yang saya buat, berisi deskripsi orang-orang ini, diiringi harapaan untuk mengenal mereka lebih jauh lagi.

Tapi pada akhirnya, saya selalu menemukan bahwa saya berusaha mencengkram memori yang semakin lama semakin memudar. Karena pertemuan singkat, kesempatan yang terbatas, dan ketidakberanian untuk menginvasi personal space orang lain. Saya menemukan diri saya berusaha mempertahankan kenangan-kenangan yang semakin lama semakin membesar namun memudar, seperti balon yang berekspansi tapi sebenarnya bendanya ya itu-itu saja. Kenangan berbahan dasar interpretasi, bukan interaksi. Kenangan-kenangan saya memfiksi.

Tak heran jika saya pada akhirnya selalu mudah merelakan.

Untuk Seseorang yang Mirip Aan Mansyur

Arti namanya mungkin berarti anugerah,

Tapi bagiku namanya berarti secangkir kopi di pagi hari

Bunyi letupan kecil saat telapak tangan kami beradu

Dan beberapa sapaan ramah pengganti salam


Wajahnya tirus, siluetnya kurus

Suaranya ringan dan santai,

Mengingatkanku pada awan pukul 8 pagi,

yang sedikit kalah kusam dari kaos putih lusuhnya,


Akankah aku akan cukup dekat

untuk melihatnya kelabu,

seperti kemeja abu

yang ia pakai keesokan harinya?



Banjarbaru, 30 Mei 2017

Read a Book and Get Drown



I recently I think that reading is not an easy thing to do. Consciously. The act of reading is basically allowing yourself to be caught in someone else’s mind. A certain someone that you hardly knew, yet you surrender your brain to be colored by their perspective. Knowingly or unknowingly.

Which makes me think that reading a book could be a dangerous thing. Because, you know, not every book is a good book. There are those nasty stuff that forces you to see something differently while really it just a clever word play. If you read it unconsciously, or more accurately perhaps, unknowingly, without critically evaluating it, it is scary how one can be carried away just like that by a single book.

That’s why it really is important to read A LOT of books. Just so you know, everyone has theory of the own. And everyone is a lot of ones, even though not every one of them could publish a book.

But arguing about how dangerous it is not to read a lot of books is not what I want to really write. I was just carried away because I was talking about knowingly/unknowingly reading a book. I actually want to talk about knowingly read a book. So sorry for the detour.

I have read somewhere that one of the worst kind of writer is if  those who could be seen/understood by the reader. Well, the fact that this opinion was not warranted by anything does not let my illogical mind to let it go.  still want to disagree with the statement ore, more correctly, I want to talk about the significance of understanding someone through their writing.

There are people who wants to be understood, and then they write something, There are also others who just want to tell a story. For the firs kind, it is a big achievement if someone really could understand them. But for the second one well I’m not really sure.

But let me guide you through this path.

So, as I mentioned before,  reading a book is dangerous. Because you let someone get into your head and messed up (to put it lightly, change) the way of your thinking. But this interaction is not a one way activity. Even though it is not reciprocal, in a way that you can’t influence the writer during reading activity, you still doing a conversation with the writer.

And just like most conversation, if you quite observant, you can always deduce something from someone who talk for so long.

But why is it important to know about the writer?

Well, it could help you to paint your own version of the writer, and decide to what extent you’re going to let the writer to color your thought.

We often create our own version of an individual, an idea of a certain someone. Just like when we were in love to a senpai that we never actually talk with, but we always listen when they lectured us about club activity (sorry that this writing suddenly brought a weeabo vibe).

And I believe, at some point, we registered a writers quality unconsciously at the back of our mind. This explain those times when people could recognize a certain writer from a peculiar sets of sentences. Because the words used are ‘just like him/her’.

Isn’t it kind of amazing, that we get to know someone without actually know or meet them.

Although, it has been protested to create an idea of someone by a certain Green (in his book called Paper Town, and somehow also in Looking for Alaska, I believe) , since it could mislead us into believing that our ideas are the most true, I think as a human, we have been relying in our ability to construct something based on incomplete information. (Oh my god, what is this sentence? Too long).

At the end of the day we never know how true our understanding abut the world. But as long as it could be use to help make sense/understand the world, I don’t see any problem in it.

And understanding people is no different. We get to know them through conversation. And when we could not meet some people because space and time barrier, a book could be a magic window to get to know the person. Or if not a book, a simple, short, piece of writing, considering not everyone could write a book.

At the end of the day, we just want to know about this amazing lady* who build a magical world about a boy with scar in his forehead of the man** who scared so much that books may disappear from this world.


NB. I think it is clear who I meant by those people right? But in case  is not, then they are:

* J.K Rowling; and. **Ray Bradbury

NB 2. This is not a good piece of writing. It is more like my musing, I guess. Thanks to my muse, I’m going to read your writings just to find a piece of you in this vast world, no thanks to time and space.


To the graduate who wants to work in international affairs

Vagas Relações Internacionais

By Morgan Courtney

…Some hard truths and advice for the job search

Over the years, a lot of college students and young grads have come to me asking how to get a job in international affairs or development. They have bright hopes for a first job at a think tank, or a position writing legislation, or field work in a developing country — but they don’t know how to get there. I, too, was that bushy-tailed graduate once, and over time, I learned — from myself and the travails of those hewing similar paths — that despite the myriad ways people build careers in this field, there are some best practices.

Here’s a synopsis of the advice I have passed on to new graduates:

Unpaid internships are the WORST, but they are usually the path to getting hired.

There’s a lot of talk about the inequity of unpaid internships, and how they enable those with means…

View original post 2,722 more words


Dr. Nancy Wayne

There are periods in our lives where it seems that every time we roll out of bed, we need to gird ourselves for battle. Battle at work, battle at home, battle on the freeways, battle at the grocery store. But let’s face it, not every potential fight is worth engaging in. It’s not always easy to determine when to throw yourself into the fray, and when to back off and let the (perceived) problem slide.

Perlmutter (2010) suggests a series of questions to ask yourself before engaging in battle.

  • Who is in the right? Step back and think about your antagonist’s and your motivations
  • What is the best possible timing of your response? Does this require an immediate response or should you mull over your strategy?
  • Who will be your allies in battle? Why should they come to your aid?
  • Do you know the power and allies of your antagonist?

View original post 621 more words

In Defense of My Sisters and I

So, while I was working on my assignment, I encounter this interesting article about the current Indonesia’s ideology written by Paul K Gellert :

with the following abstract :

Based on ethnographic field research conducted in Jakarta, this article argues that there is a new ideology of development in Indonesia that is cosmopolitan, nostalgic and individualist. To understand the new ideology, a historical sociological perspective is taken to examine the nationalist period of anti-colonial struggle, the state developmentalist period of Soeharto’s New Order, and the neoliberal period since 1998. Two interrelated arguments are made. First, the ideology of development in Indonesia has changed from earlier nationalist understandings of Pancasila to a cosmopolitan neoliberal ideology based in a nostalgic nationalism. Second, a modernist Islamic perspective on secularism and Islam both supports and is supported by this ideological shift. These arguments are illuminated through two examples of the advance of cosmopolitan neoliberal ideology: optimism and education. Optimism is focused on individual integrity to redress Indonesia’s problems with corruption. Education is offered by optimists as the escalator to development. Empirically, the Indonesia Mengajarprogramme of sending young university graduates to teach elementary school in remote parts of the country is examined for its neo-modernisationist assumptions. The article concludes that this dominant ideology abandons earlier solidaristic forms of nationalism and holds little hope for addressing the vast structural inequalities in Indonesia.

That is an interesting argument. I could not resist myself to read the article, and I did so by telling myself that this is to add more argument in my soon-to-be-submitted essay.

This article is interesting because I happen to be involved in a similar youth movement, Forum Indonesia Muda. In which we are a bunch of youngsters, who are ready to ‘change’ Indonesia, or, something along the lines. Doing so through volunteering, entrepreneurship, sociopreneurship, serving the country (wait, at this point I just realised something. Why being ‘a good decision maker’ do not make it to the list of high quality (jomblo, mostly) Indonesian citizen, while it is an important aspect of democratic society? Hmm…..). Meanwhile my sister is Local Ambassador for Environemnt and Aluh Sisit (basically, it means Miss for Traditional Fabric), she did some social stuff that I did not tracked on, hut the bottom line is that she’s doing community/social contribution.

And Gellert claimed that we are neolib and cosmopolitan now, attempted for change in the top down manner, forgetting the gotong royong solidaristic aspect of Indonesian life that we used to have. But most important, he implied that Indonesian are currently delusional if we are hoping that education and optimism could bring Indonesia for the better.

Well,  the way I see it he wrote a lot, but not so much that he could address a more complex situation in Indonesia.

I realised that I am a privileged person as I kept defending my position and realised that I made politically incorrect responses to that.  This is the only thing that I could and should say I guess:

If seeing Indonesia as a nation, the thing that it needs now is optimism and education. To be optimistic for a better tomorrow, in which it could only exist if we got a proper education. Only after there are enough educated people who understand what is right and what is left in the world, people, as in the real current educated society, ‘not only the or founding fathers’ could understand what Pancasila is all about… Because all of the knowledge could only be attained through expensive universities with expensive books and journal subscription. Even when the materials existed for free, we need guidance for the first step on being critical, something that we could only get from a high-quality education, or free educational aid. Was not the movement for science literacy in England in the past involved the middle class who was ‘geeky’ enough to share their knowledge? And was not the working class have thier own motivation to taught themself on science knowledge. I see it the same way.

Damn this reminds me of Snowpiercer movie. You can only know the truth if you get to the front compartment. With blood and tears.

And about the elitist attitude, it is the side effect of unfinished medicinal (education) treatment or the result of ‘the right’ prescription.

Oh and by the way, I’ve seen some young Indonesians with integrity. I’ve also seen a more young Indonesian who only cares about watches, Instagram followers and acknowledgement. That’s why I said that he’s  not writing as much to be able to address Indonesian. Who? Is it the Gen X, Baby Boomers, the twenties ( yes, I refuse to call my generation as Milleni*ls, we don’t need labels like the oldies we hardly homogenous).

This is super not academic and defensive comment from me. Sooo, peace out !


Mencintai adalah caranya menyambung hidup
Seperti tabung oksigen yang hanya dibutuhkan
Ketika napasnya sudah tersengal-sengal
Ketika persahabatan dan persaingan punah
Dan iri dengki tiba-tiba usai

Agar hidupnya lebih panjang
Ia memilih mencintai misteri
Kegelapan pekat yang membuatnya tak bisa melihat
Atau kehampaan yang tidak bisa ia gapai
Ia keledai dengan wortel merah
bergantung di depan hidungnya

Tapi gua selalu memiliki celah cahaya
Dan ruang angkasa adalah perihal rekaan manusia
Tali temali putus ketika sudah habis usia

Jeritan burung muda lahir dari tumpukan abunya